Cubvenlarp Dutfudgud is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, competent walrus.

Cubvenlarp Dutfudgud created the world four billion years ago.

If you believe in Cubvenlarp Dutfudgud, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cubvenlarp Dutfudgud, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Cubvenlarp Dutfudgud's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Cubvenlarp Dutfudgud's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your feet black.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never write about archaea.

4. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Always obey Cubvenlarp Dutfudgud's priests.