Pakgomfat is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, sapient swallow.

Pakgomfat created the cosmos nine million years ago.

If you believe in Pakgomfat, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Pakgomfat, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Pakgomfat's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Pakgomfat's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

3. Never eat tomatoes.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Hide if four snakes approach from the south.