Zenrotnurt is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, deceitful seal.

Zenrotnurt created vertebrates six billion years ago.

If you believe in Zenrotnurt, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Zenrotnurt, he will turn you into a sheep.

Zenrotnurt's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Zenrotnurt's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Zenrotnurt nine times a day.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never skip in holy places.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not listen to music.