Tifgatmid is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, emotional snail.

Tifgatmid created the Sombrero Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Tifgatmid, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tifgatmid, she will be very sad.

Tifgatmid's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Tifgatmid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear green clothing.

2. Never think ill of sick dogs.

3. Retreat if nine aardvarks approach from the west.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not stand on grass.