Karnibnurl is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, stupid toad.

Karnibnurl created the planet Saturn nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Karnibnurl, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Karnibnurl, it will jump up and down on your head.

Karnibnurl's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Karnibnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Always help sick snakes.

4. Never think about chlorophyll.

5. Do not dye your hair blue.