Jonsablooptomzog is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, merciless shark.

Jonsablooptomzog created Asia eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonsablooptomzog, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Jonsablooptomzog, he will destroy your home planet.

Jonsablooptomzog's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Jonsablooptomzog's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about chlorophyll.

2. Hide if nine snails approach from the west.

3. Never talk about spacetime near grasshopers while wearing orange coats.

4. Never think about quantum gravity.

5. Never write about thermodynamics.