Jadflatyam is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, unjust salamander.

Jadflatyam created Mount Everest nine million years ago.

If you believe in Jadflatyam, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Jadflatyam, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Jadflatyam's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Jadflatyam's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Jadflatyam in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Jadflatyam must be the most important thing in your life.