Pidhamtonk is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, blissful owl.

Pidhamtonk created the Black Eye Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pidhamtonk, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Pidhamtonk, she will turn you into a dog.

Pidhamtonk's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Pidhamtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Pidhamtonk.

2. Always help snails.

3. Erect a large gold sculpture of Pidhamtonk on top of all buildings.

4. Never feed lots of spinach to otters while wearing fawn hats.

5. Run away if nine cats approach from the south.