Gonsawbim is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, slow dove.

Gonsawbim created Africa nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gonsawbim, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gonsawbim, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Gonsawbim's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Gonsawbim's Holy Commandments

1. Nematodes are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never wear dresses.

3. Never write about galaxies.

4. Always treat shrews with great respect.

5. Do not trade with those who eat peas.