Talfedjennilcat is a god.

It takes the form of a small, slow dove.

Talfedjennilcat created a top quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Talfedjennilcat, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Talfedjennilcat, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Talfedjennilcat's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Talfedjennilcat's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum mechanics near turtles while wearing blue hats and balancing eight carbon spheres on your hands.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not drink alcohol.