Begjabboppibvol Tagquagyart is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, quiet bird.

Begjabboppibvol Tagquagyart created gold four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Begjabboppibvol Tagquagyart, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Begjabboppibvol Tagquagyart, he will throw large rocks at you.

Begjabboppibvol Tagquagyart's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Begjabboppibvol Tagquagyart's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not kill squirrels.

3. Never go into magenta rooms.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.