Donmetmab is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, blissful dolphin.

Donmetmab created Africa four years ago.

If you believe in Donmetmab, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Donmetmab, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Donmetmab's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Donmetmab's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not take Donmetmab's name in vain.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Donmetmab.

5. Never bounce near tortoises.