Fargupvan Milmisleg is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, narcissistic newt.

Fargupvan Milmisleg created the planet Venus two million years ago.

If you believe in Fargupvan Milmisleg, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Fargupvan Milmisleg, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Fargupvan Milmisleg's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Fargupvan Milmisleg's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never run in the presence of horses.

4. Worship no other gods but Fargupvan Milmisleg.

5. Never wear tights.