Omtcubhitshavnarmiddid is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, selfish dolphin.

Omtcubhitshavnarmiddid created an electron five million years ago.

If you believe in Omtcubhitshavnarmiddid, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Omtcubhitshavnarmiddid, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Omtcubhitshavnarmiddid's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Omtcubhitshavnarmiddid's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from brown shrews for they are unholy.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Always look after injured bats.

4. Never paint your face turquoise.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.