Tingumfet is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, blissful mongoose.

Tingumfet created parasitic wasps four million years ago.

If you believe in Tingumfet, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tingumfet, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Tingumfet's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Tingumfet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sit in public.

2. Never wear corsets.

3. Do not hurt mice.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always help sick horses.