Bandognellmig Gupyarparffarfotmifhunzod is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, temperamental coyote.

Bandognellmig Gupyarparffarfotmifhunzod created light nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bandognellmig Gupyarparffarfotmifhunzod, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bandognellmig Gupyarparffarfotmifhunzod, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Bandognellmig Gupyarparffarfotmifhunzod's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Bandognellmig Gupyarparffarfotmifhunzod's Holy Commandments

1. Learn three new languages a year.

2. Always wear black.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always help sick horses.

5. Never eat green fruit.