Ortditratjighabarptif is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, uncaring otter.

Ortditratjighabarptif created a charm quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ortditratjighabarptif, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Ortditratjighabarptif, it will turn you into a rat.

Ortditratjighabarptif's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Ortditratjighabarptif's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Erect six aluminium sculptures of Ortditratjighabarptif on top of important buildings.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not kill turtles.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.