Gilrigbessjad is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, thoughtless toad.

Gilrigbessjad created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gilrigbessjad, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gilrigbessjad, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Gilrigbessjad's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Gilrigbessjad's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gilrigbessjad.

3. Never eat peanuts.

4. Do not speak about beans.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.