Laphasmum is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, self-assured crane.

Laphasmum created the planet Mars three million years ago.

If you believe in Laphasmum, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Laphasmum, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Laphasmum's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Laphasmum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not dye your hair red.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.