Yartartbep is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, generous beaver.

Yartartbep created the solar system nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartartbep, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Yartartbep, he will turn you into a worm.

Yartartbep's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Yartartbep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about figs.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Yartartbep in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always help squirrels in need.