Jabfompig is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, smart squirrel.

Jabfompig created gold eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Jabfompig, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Jabfompig, she will strike you with lightening.

Jabfompig's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Jabfompig's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Jabfompig in the centre of the settlement.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Run away if eight goats approach from the west.

4. Never mention ducks.

5. Do not shave your neck.