Rutfoddoss Cedhigstik is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, overgenerous dugong.

Rutfoddoss Cedhigstik created the universe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rutfoddoss Cedhigstik, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Rutfoddoss Cedhigstik, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Rutfoddoss Cedhigstik's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Rutfoddoss Cedhigstik's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured rats.

2. Do not hurt goats.

3. Never talk about foxes.

4. Never go into green rooms.

5. Do not wear aluminium on your body.