Fagbamfigged is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, omnipotent owl.

Fagbamfigged created a strange quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fagbamfigged, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fagbamfigged, it will jump up and down on your head.

Fagbamfigged's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Fagbamfigged's Holy Commandments

1. Fagbamfigged loves manatees, so they must be honoured.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never eat oranges.

5. Do not chop down trees.