Quatkinsaw Sugcepved is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, grumpy narwhal.

Quatkinsaw Sugcepved created parasitic wasps seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatkinsaw Sugcepved, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quatkinsaw Sugcepved, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Quatkinsaw Sugcepved's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Quatkinsaw Sugcepved's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Quatkinsaw Sugcepved six times a day.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never leap near hamsters.

5. Do not covet oxen.