Sawbuszen is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, almighty finch.

Sawbuszen created a bottom quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Sawbuszen, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sawbuszen, he will turn you into a sheep.

Sawbuszen's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Sawbuszen's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never talk about nucleic acids.

3. Never talk about quantum field theory.

4. Hide from blue rats for they are unholy.

5. Do not drink water in purple rooms.