Vigbonkcip is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, intelligent ferret.

Vigbonkcip created gold six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vigbonkcip, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Vigbonkcip, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Vigbonkcip's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Vigbonkcip's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never talk about black holes.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never eat parsnips.

5. Hide if three sheep approach from the east.