Zanwegten is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, smart newt.

Zanwegten created Mount Everest nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Zanwegten, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Zanwegten, it will be very unhappy.

Zanwegten's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Zanwegten's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear pink skirts.

2. Never think about cell theory.

3. Do not take Zanwegten's name in vain.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.