Hitzedwan is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, overgenerous turtle.

Hitzedwan created an atom four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hitzedwan, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Hitzedwan, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Hitzedwan's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Hitzedwan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick otters.

2. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never talk about eukaryotes.

4. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not speak about pineapples.