Dabtabpin is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, prudent ferret.

Dabtabpin created matter two years ago.

If you believe in Dabtabpin, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Dabtabpin, he will destroy your favourite star.

Dabtabpin's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Dabtabpin's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Dabtabpin in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Retreat if four mites approach from the west.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Dabtabpin.

5. Always treat horses with great respect.