Quillmatbiss Kipnel is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, bad-tempered weasel.

Quillmatbiss Kipnel created a bottom quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quillmatbiss Kipnel, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Quillmatbiss Kipnel, it will turn you into a hamster.

Quillmatbiss Kipnel's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Quillmatbiss Kipnel's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt tortoises.

2. Never eat bananas.

3. Never think about asteroids.

4. Never wear indigo tights.

5. Never talk about spacetime.