Cipcinditbarn is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, astonishing cow.

Cipcinditbarn created the planet Mars six million years ago.

If you believe in Cipcinditbarn, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Cipcinditbarn, he will throw large rocks at you.

Cipcinditbarn's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Cipcinditbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Cipcinditbarn loves tapirs, so they must be respected.

3. Never think ill of sick squirrels.

4. Always wear blue.

5. Do not keep three eagles in a large pit.