Ganjonvan is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, cheerful crane.

Ganjonvan created the planet Mars eight million years ago.

If you believe in Ganjonvan, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Ganjonvan, he will torture you forever.

Ganjonvan's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Ganjonvan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ultrasonics.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never think about special relativity near mice while wearing mauve scarves and balancing nine silicon spheres on your feet.

4. Feed all hungry goats.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.