Dosscadpib is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, temperamental beaver.

Dosscadpib created a quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dosscadpib, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Dosscadpib, it will curse you with boils.

Dosscadpib's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Dosscadpib's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Erect a large tin sculpture of Dosscadpib on top of all buildings.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.