Tifgebvan is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, unselfish bear.

Tifgebvan created an up quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tifgebvan, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tifgebvan, she will remove you from existence.

Tifgebvan's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Tifgebvan's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat dolphins with great respect.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Retreat if four mites approach from the east.

4. Never feed lots of spinach to goats while wearing white boots.

5. Always obey Tifgebvan's priests.