Dapvingubfid Yokmonmuttarpgarsomkardim is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, proud hyena.

Dapvingubfid Yokmonmuttarpgarsomkardim created oxygen seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dapvingubfid Yokmonmuttarpgarsomkardim, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dapvingubfid Yokmonmuttarpgarsomkardim, she will turn you into a snail.

Dapvingubfid Yokmonmuttarpgarsomkardim's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Dapvingubfid Yokmonmuttarpgarsomkardim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Do not shave your chest.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dapvingubfid Yokmonmuttarpgarsomkardim.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.