Linwik Flowstigdam is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unselfish spider.

Linwik Flowstigdam created a charm quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Linwik Flowstigdam, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Linwik Flowstigdam, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Linwik Flowstigdam's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Linwik Flowstigdam's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark matter near otters while wearing black kilts and balancing four carbon spheres on your arms.

2. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never talk about quantum field theory.