Ponhasbiss Mifdancutbesstangetnurzed is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, sapient swan.

Ponhasbiss Mifdancutbesstangetnurzed created a charm quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ponhasbiss Mifdancutbesstangetnurzed, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Ponhasbiss Mifdancutbesstangetnurzed, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Ponhasbiss Mifdancutbesstangetnurzed's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Ponhasbiss Mifdancutbesstangetnurzed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Do not take Ponhasbiss Mifdancutbesstangetnurzed's name in vain.