Fadloopjen is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, boastful bear.

Fadloopjen created Asia seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fadloopjen, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fadloopjen, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Fadloopjen's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Fadloopjen's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed beans to sharks while wearing brown trousers.

2. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not speak about spinach.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never think ill of sick badgers.