Hugtailtif is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, slow hippopotamus.

Hugtailtif created the solar system three million years ago.

If you believe in Hugtailtif, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Hugtailtif, he will turn you into a mole.

Hugtailtif's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Hugtailtif's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about enzymes.

2. Never talk about eagles.

3. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in fawn.

4. Feed all hungry otters.

5. Always pray immersed in water.