Hamtabbem is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, intelligent sheep.

Hamtabbem created an atom three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hamtabbem, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Hamtabbem, he will come to you in dreams.

Hamtabbem's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Hamtabbem's Holy Commandments

1. Learn three new languages a year.

2. Never talk about optics near squirrels while wearing yellow boots.

3. Snails are not to be trusted.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never feed lots of peas to sheep while wearing turquoise shorts.