Loptenfob Fem Xuckgabhinloplarntafhap is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, vain seal.

Loptenfob Fem Xuckgabhinloplarntafhap created carbon four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Loptenfob Fem Xuckgabhinloplarntafhap, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Loptenfob Fem Xuckgabhinloplarntafhap, she will turn you into a tree.

Loptenfob Fem Xuckgabhinloplarntafhap's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Loptenfob Fem Xuckgabhinloplarntafhap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Do not shave your arms.

5. Never hurt gulls.