Gambestgig is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, competent snail.

Gambestgig created an electron nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gambestgig, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gambestgig, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Gambestgig's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Gambestgig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear platinum on your body.

2. Gambestgig must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never sit in the presence of doves.

4. You must pray to Gambestgig eight times a day.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.