Fudparkhad is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, witless crow.

Fudparkhad created a strange quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fudparkhad, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fudparkhad, he will ignore you.

Fudparkhad's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Fudparkhad's Holy Commandments

1. Voles are not to be trusted.

2. Never think about eukaryotes.

3. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Fudparkhad in the centre of the settlement.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never write about cell theory.