Gabcardob is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, selfish alligator.

Gabcardob created the Whirlpool Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gabcardob, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gabcardob, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Gabcardob's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Gabcardob's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum mechanics.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not take Gabcardob's name in vain.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

5. Never eat bark.