Yarpsogzig is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, omnipotent owl.

Yarpsogzig created the planet Saturn five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpsogzig, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yarpsogzig, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Yarpsogzig's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Yarpsogzig's Holy Commandments

1. Always help capybaras in need.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.