Japfutlarp is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, awe-inspiring monkey.

Japfutlarp created vertebrates eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Japfutlarp, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Japfutlarp, he will try to impress you with trees.

Japfutlarp's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Japfutlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about dwarf planets.

2. Hide if seven sheep approach from the east.

3. Put Japfutlarp first in all things.

4. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Japfutlarp in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never play with disobedient children.