Danbopragtofpitsak is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, amazing jaguar.

Danbopragtofpitsak created snails six million years ago.

If you believe in Danbopragtofpitsak, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Danbopragtofpitsak, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Danbopragtofpitsak's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Danbopragtofpitsak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate manatees.

4. Gulls are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never look at galaxies.