Donstigarmvab is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, contented snake.

Donstigarmvab created the Whirlpool Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Donstigarmvab, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Donstigarmvab, she will destroy your home solar system.

Donstigarmvab's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Donstigarmvab's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never talk about special relativity near seals while wearing green shirts.

4. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Donstigarmvab in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never eat bark.