Dossbotzog is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, amazing capybara.

Dossbotzog created tapeworms seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dossbotzog, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Dossbotzog, she will refuse to believe in you.

Dossbotzog's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Dossbotzog's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never wear pink jumpers.

5. Never eat bark.