Xemmabpin Japlarpsaf is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, quiet cobra.

Xemmabpin Japlarpsaf created the solar system four billion years ago.

If you believe in Xemmabpin Japlarpsaf, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Xemmabpin Japlarpsaf, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Xemmabpin Japlarpsaf's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Xemmabpin Japlarpsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force near tortoises while wearing brown trousers and balancing four carbon spheres on your feet.

2. Always obey Xemmabpin Japlarpsaf's priests.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Worship no other gods but Xemmabpin Japlarpsaf.

5. Always help eagles.