Omtstigbablarn is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, emotional deer.

Omtstigbablarn created time and space eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Omtstigbablarn, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Omtstigbablarn, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Omtstigbablarn's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Omtstigbablarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce in public.

2. Erect seven platinum sculptures of Omtstigbablarn on top of important buildings.

3. You must never eat cherries.

4. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Omtstigbablarn in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.