Davsatmab is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, cheerful cat.

Davsatmab created bats nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Davsatmab, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Davsatmab, he will come to you in dreams.

Davsatmab's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Davsatmab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair mauve.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

4. Always help sick monkeys.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.